This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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