I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I had to cum in my sink.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
