I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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