Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just invented taco cereal.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
