my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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