We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize