someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
