Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
