chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
