You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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