Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
