just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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