im about as happy as oj after his trial
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
