So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
