no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
