he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
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We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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