Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
