): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
