Got a toothbrush?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
