I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
