He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it because I queefed?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
