Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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