Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
