i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
