Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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