ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize