I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
