My first STD was from a foam party
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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