I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
