trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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