ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
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he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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