also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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