She said her name was "party"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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