dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
