nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
