It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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