even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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