He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
