Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
