so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize