There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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