My underwear smells like fireworks.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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