He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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