I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
did i just pee glitter
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
