last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
