Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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