I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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