I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
