On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize