Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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