well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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