dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
