I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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