he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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