All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
