My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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