so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
