i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize