My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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