Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Randomize
